Two-Legged Animal

I could really never read this, and I’m way too  young to be troubled by it. But I am. It took me a long time to recover from Everyman and we’ll see similar sentiments when I record my thoughts on The Maytrees. No matter how amazing it is, I could never get through Sarah Manguso’s poetic memoir about terminal illness.

***
A long time ago in Kentucky, a man took Andrew Sean Greer’s grandmother for a drive. The man, a family friend, told her something she didn’t want to hear. During the war he and her husband had been lovers.

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I had no idea that Terry Pratchett had Alzheimer’s. A friend of mine and her husband met me at the People Come From All Over the Country to Stand in Front of Me When I’m Trying to Meet Joyce Carol Oates Festival, and her husband spent his time hanging out with Terry Pratchett. He seemed like a pretty great guy. It made me wish I was into fantasy/sci-fi stuff.  Unfortunately, this whole thing just made me want to read that book about Iris Murdoch’s slow deterioration.

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What happens when a public school teacher gets her students interested in literature for a change? Yep.

I recently finished Annie Dillard’s The Maytrees, but I’m waiting to finish The Pillars of the Earth before I write about either. You’ll see why. Until then:

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If Obama is elected, he’ll be one of the most literary presidents in recent memory.

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I was difficult in college, and that’s putting it mildly. I enjoyed my literature classes, but I couldn’t help but resent the vast majority of the reading assignments, including books by Cynthia Ozick. As much as I tried to hate reading Cynthia Ozick, I just couldn’t help myself. I recommended The Shawl to my mother through clenched teeth, but it was all over when we got to The Puttermesser Papers: I read it in two days (which is the equivalent of reading it in two hours of non-class time). Anyway, I was pleased to run into this interview today, and you should drop everything and read The Puttermesser Papers. Now.

***
My brother is a “Lost” addict - who knew it might end up being a good influence on him? Who says TV’s no good for you?

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I didn’t even know this was going on, but good for JK Rowling. If books were labeled by age when I was younger, I wouldn’t have read A Tale of Two Cities when I was thirteen, and I maintain that, although I have always enjoyed reading and writing, reading that book at that age was what kicked it into high gear.

***
Not so much literary, but I thought I’d share that the hottest lady on TV today is on the cover of one of the crappiest fitness magazines today. But I bought it anyway, because I love her.

***
FYI, my last Education classes begin tomorrow, so I’ll try to be around at least once a week until the end of the month, and then I’ll be around more frequently again.

I just want to bury myself in these articles - I haven’t been able to do this or keep track of this stuff in so long! Good stuff I was looking at today:

I’ve been following this for a bit. Jesus Christ. I resent the title of the article: “Judge throws out law making bookstores pay fine to sell porn.” It was clear from the beginning that they were focusing on “sexually explicit material,” which would include the Marquis de Sade, Anais Nin, Henry Miller, Colette, and all my other favorites. Hell… it would include Philip Roth and (duh) Shakespeare!
”A romance novel sold at a drugstore, a magazine offering sex advice in a grocery store checkout line, an R-rated DVD sold by a video rental shop, a collection of old Playboy magazines sold by a widow at a garage sale … would appear to necessitate registration under the statute,” Barker wrote.

Cronenberg’s Fly goes to the opera. I would so see that.

I loved the American Girl dolls when I was little. I still have my Samantha, Molly and Felicity, I didn’t care for Kirsten, and by the time Addy and the rest came out I was too old. When I picked out stories for my mom to read to me before bed, more often than not I would choose the American Girl catalogue. I read every book for every girl in no time. What bothered me to no end was when the modern dolls came out, but maybe that’s because, being an upper-middle class white girl, I had no trouble seeing myself in the historical dolls. Meh.

I’m really not in the mood for this right now. I read the first page and thought, “Wow, he ran out of stuff to think about.” But that might just be my feeling at the moment. It might actually be interesting, which is why I’m including it.

Speaking of uninteresting topics, is it at all possible that Buckminster Fuller is way more interesting than he seems?

Salon’s recommended reads for the summer: a gripping fictional portrait of Queen Elizabeth’s early years, when she was still just “Lady Elizabeth”; a Victorian thriller featuring a mysterious housemaid and a gentleman obsessed with anthropometry; a juicy girl’s-eye view of Louis XIV’s court; and an intellectual romance that spans two centuries, partly set in Venice, where novelist George Eliot is on honeymoon.
Sounds promising if you ignore Alison Weir… and I certainly try.

After reading this article, The Enchantress of Florence can’t not appeal to you.

More on my actual reading later.

I must say that I have missed it and, silly though it may sound, this blog is one of the great joys in my life. In the fall I had to concentrate on graduating, which I finally did in December. In the spring I began graduate work in Literature and dropped that after a few months (details on that later, maybe). So I’m completing my Education classes now - I have two left - and I’m applying for teaching positions right and left.

The last day of my last set of Education classes was yesterday, so I’m playing catch-up a little bit for the next week, trying to make sure I enter all of the books I read in 2007 and everything I’ve read so far in 2008. I already have a couple of articles I want to address, as well. So I’m terribly excited to be back and to catch up with everyone. I missed it dearly!

I read this book for the first time when I was fourteen, like the rest of the world. It was ninth grade Honors English and I had a vague knowledge of how highly-regarded this book is, generally speaking, so I was psyched. Prior to this assignment, I had no clue what the book was about. I was immediately disappointed. I was wasting away in Honors English reading about a six-year-old.

Eight years later I’m tutoring a girl going into tenth grade and her summer reading is To Kill a Mockingbird. I was actually excited to have an excuse to pick  it up again; the entire world seems to be in love with it and I certainly didn’t understand it eight years ago, but I could only hope that I would now.

If you want the short version, I liked it very much. I cried when Atticus woke up the morning after the trial to find all of the food that had been sent to him. I cried again when Scout realized that it was Boo Radley that had saved them and carried Jem to safety. Read on if you want the longer version.

I have a theory about this book, but that said let me warn you that I know nothing about Harper Lee the person, so if there’s anything particularly telling in her past that arguably shines through in the novel, I don’t know about it. Also let me warn you that at times I suspect I have been brainwashed by my African-American Literature professor; that is relevant in this case.

The dog’s name is Tim Johnson. Usually I would be the last person to take a second look at what may at first appear to be an endearing Southern quirk. I come from a Southern family– one side respectable, the other side not so much– and each of my pets have full names (eg: Hannah Marie, Margaret May, Frances Louise, Dudley Duke, Oli McFoley, etc.)… but I digress. I’m inclined to believe that Harper Lee is intentionally setting up a parallel between Tim Johnson, the dog, and Tom Robinson, the black man Atticus defends. There are a million different names over the course of the book, and none of them are as similar as the dog’s and the defendant’s.

Also contributing to the point I eventually intend to make, I have a problem with Atticus. Most people read the book and see Atticus as god-like… but he’s a little too good to be true, isn’t he? Upon careful consideration, several problems emerge. First and foremost, Scout and Jem call him Atticus. This is still generally unacceptable, and I doubt it was any less so in the 1930s. It is emphasized several times within the book that Atticus is not terribly affectionate. Aside from allowing Scout to sit in his lap while he reads– which he eventually puts an end to– any sort of physical contact between he and his children is documented as a rare event. Atticus is a single parent and treats his children as miniature adults. He is rarely nurturing, and while it can be argued that Calpurnia does the nurturing, her role as disciplinarian and etiquette coach is of primary importance. Atticus puts his children at risk in defending Tom Robinson (though the reader can and should accept this much), he misses Scout’s pageant because he’s not up to it, he undermines Scout’s teacher, he puts the neighborhood at risk in initially refusing to shoot the rabid dog simply to save himself from having to handle a gun, and the list goes on. The point is not that Atticus is not a good father and he is certainly a seemingly good person all-around for the most part, but the problem with Atticus becomes the preservation of his goodness and dignity over all else, including his children’s safety. Atticus is more concerned with presenting himself as a good and proper person than he is with doing what is best.

It is made clear in one hundred different ways how uncomfortable and humiliating it is for Tom Robinson to appear in court and testify. Being as intelligent as he is, Atticus must surely have forseen everything that eventually happens in the courtroom. Atticus even tells Jem long before the trial takes place that he and Tom Robinson will undoubtedly lose, but that Atticus wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t try his damndest to win the case. Atticus has somehow managed to make the tragic case of Tom Robinson all about himself, while Tom Robinson all but begs to be put out of his misery, just like Tim Johnson.

The clencher was Tom Robinson’s actual death. In the yard, Tom Robinson makes a break for it and is shot to death. The point is made that if a statment needed to be made, Tom Robinson was perfectly capable of making it himself with no help from Atticus. Atticus has exploited Tom Robinson and his misfortune to glorify himself.

But that’s just my reading.

Since I was asked (and I’m terribly excited that I was), here is some of the reading I’ve been doing for the summer classes. You’ll have to bear with me– I’m housesitting and I don’t have the syllabi with me and I can’t work this damn computer:

Islam in Western Medieval Literature
The Decameron (most of it, anyway), Boccaccio
The Inferno, Dante
Vita Nuova, Dante
Arabian Nights
A selection from Eneas
Irwin’s Companion to the Arabian Nights

Wow, this is going nowhere fast. I’ll have to finish the list when I actually have my syllabi with me. Ouch. Good reading, though, and I’ll include our Postmodernism readings next time, as well.

Don’t ask me why I’m doing this now. I keep wanting to get back to my blog, but this is the worst of all possible times. The summer semester began Monday and it’s already a slow death. The individual classes– Postmodernism, Islam in Western Medeival Literature, and Individual Exercise (meh)– are mostly fantastic, but the combination is killing me. I also have a block of four hours free in the middle of the day, which would be useful in catching up on my work and reading if I could only stay awake. I wake up at five-fifteen in the morning to come to school and don’t return home until about seven. I can’t pull all-nighters like when I lived on-campus because then I fall asleep driving to school the next day.

That said, I’ve read some amazing things both for classes and on my own. It’s taken long enough, but I’m finally getting into the swing of non-fiction. Truth be told, I kind of have to. Professor Mathur has recommended a million books on Elizabeth I for me to read over the summer when I “have time” (**snort**) before we start the independent study on Spenser’s The Faerie Queene in the fall. And surprisingly, they’re all quite fascinating despite the fact that I have never been good with history or politics.

To top it off, I’m exceptionally bitter because Joyce Carol Oates was signing nearby the other night and I had to miss it. To take classes. Uggh.

I should be working on reading Edward Said’s Orientalism right now, but… Like I said, it’s a slow death and I’m actually an incredibly slow reader. I figure as long as I read our selections of the Decameron and the Inferno in their entirety and do my damnedest with the non-fiction, I’ll be good. I’ll have to be.

PS: Chris Benoit? What in hell?

Well… bad news first. “Professor S.” totally screwed me again, and you’ll have to forgive me for not dwelling on it. Not only have my past few posts just been a lot of bitching about dear old Professor S. which I’m sure we’re all sick of, but there are actually a couple of good things going on. Let me just briefly say that I was forced to make a presentation in front of my Faulkner class, analyzing The Wild Palms [If I Forget Thee, Jerusalem], which I am convinced was only assigned to me because the professor wanted me to have to talk to the entire class about masturbation. That said, I thought I did a pretty fantastic job considering I’d rather read the more recent works of Stephen King than endure public speaking. So I’m proud of myself, despite having endured a rather lengthy humiliation afterward. Still, if I had the chance to go back and change any single thing about the presentation I wouldn’t change anything at all. Dammit. (And P.S., if you haven’t read the book, read it. It’s fantastic.)

Soon afterward the sun broke through the clouds. I made my way to the wonderful and brilliant Professor Waltonen’s office to turn in my midterm paper on Naphtalene and Nervous Conditions, and I was glad to tell him that I was rather proud of this paper. He told me that he certainly looked forward to reading it, that my last paper for the class was “quite an achievement” and that my paper and one other girl’s paper were a gigantic leap above the rest of the class.

See! I knew Professor S. was full of shit. Granted, I think Professor Waltonen is far too generous, but I knew my papers weren’t the mounds of crap Professor S. made them out to be.

The day before in my Women of Color class Professor Waltonen had stood in front of the class before returning papers and read excerpts from my paper– as well as the other girl’s– for the class to hear. He interrupted his reading of my paper once to say, “What a sophisticated piece of analysis that is!” once to say, “What a complex sentence!” and once to say, “Just think… this is going on in our class right now.” Take that, Professor S.

So no more bitching. I’m just going to get the hell out of Professor S.’s classes and know not to take a class with him again.

Another bit of good news: Nothing is official yet, but I found a professor to work with me on a proposal for an independent study for the fall. I’m currently taking British Lit to 1800 with Professor Mathur, who I absolutely adore, and she said that she would be thrilled to work with me on Edmund Spenser’s The Faerie Queene in the fall. She says that my work in class so far has been “fantastic” and that she would “love to” work with my on an independent study, and so far she seems to be just as into it as I am, compiling notes and studying old proposals that got the go-ahead. But none of this will be settled till summer. It’s just huge for me to find someone this excited to work with me. And yes, I’ve already considered how careful I’m going to have to be to avoid capes and increased enthusiasm in Rennaissance festivals, but I’m not too worried; after all, Professor Mathur remains a completely non-nerdy badass and literature of that period is her “thing”.

I’ve exhausted myself for now, but more next week. I really wish I were able to get everything going on in my classes down here, but there’s so much which leaves me with so little time… and of course I waste that bitching about papers I should have received better grades on. Uggh. Oh, well.

Happy March!

I’m stealing from Adrienne once again. I think I want to be Adrienne when I grow up.

- Put your music player on shuffle.
- Press forward for each question.
- Use the song title as the answer to the question even if they don’t make sense.

How am I feeling today? “Faithless” Addictive

Will I get far in life? “Bittersweet Symphony” The Verve (I’ll accept that.)

How do my friends see me? “Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck” Demon Hunter (Fair enough.)

Where will I get married? “Somebody to Love” Queen & George Michael (Doesn’t answer the question, but it can’t be a bad thing.)

What is my best friend’s theme song? “The Taste of Ink” The Used (I have no friends, so figure that one out.)

What is the story of my life? “Of Greetings and Goodbyes” A.F.I. (I actually like that.)

What is/was high school like? “Another Brick in the Wall” Pink Floyd (You’re telling me.)

How can I get ahead in life? “Love Me Two Times” The Doors.

What is the best thing about me? “Live to Tell” Madonna.

What is today going to be like? “The Rebels” The Cranberries.

What is in store for this weekend? “It’s Too Late” Carole King. (Whoa… eerie. It’s Sunday evening.)

What song describes my parents? “The Set-Up” Zebrahead.

To describe my grandparents? “Paint It Black” Rolling Stones (Yeah, they’re not pleasant people.)

How is my life going? “Something in the Air” David Bowie.

What song will they play at my funeral? “Venezuela” Lionel Belasco (Listening to it now, that would actually be very okay with me.)

How does the world see me? “Junk Food Junkie” X-Ray Spex (Nice.)

Will I have a happy life? “Love is a Battlefield” Pat Benatar (Just what I wanted to hear.)

What do my friends really think of me? “Sultans of Swing” Dire Straits (Damn right.)

Do people secretly lust after me? “Who’s Lovin’ You” Jackson 5 (I’m taking that as a yes.)

How can I make myself happy? “I Just Shot John Lennon” The Cranberries. (Jeez.)

What should I do with my life? “Guns A-blazing” Boba-flex (At least now I have a plan.)

Will I ever have children? “When You’re Gone” The Cranberries. (Okie-dokie.)

What is some good advice for me? “Movin’ Out” Billy Joel (God, that is wise.)

How will I be remembered? “Bathwater” No Doubt.

What is my signature dancing song? “Cautioners” Jimmy Eat World.

What is my current theme song? “No Matter What” Badfinger.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is? “Moment of Clarity” Caliban.

What type of men/women do you like? “Evil Woman” Electric Light Orchestra (Jesus, now even iTunes thinks I’m a lesbian.)

***

I am perpetually twelve years old and I’m sure this won’t be the last of these.

Much love to Emily and Adrienne, from whom I stole this. 

Bold the ones you’ve read, italicise the ones you want to read, cross out the ones you won’t touch with a 10 foot pole, put a cross (+) in front of the ones on your book shelf, and asterisk (*) the ones you’ve never heard of.

1. + The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown) **growl**

2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)

3.  To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)  I read it when I was too young to appreciate it… assuming I would even like it now.

4. +Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell) My mom adores this book.

5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)  You really couldn’t pay me enough.

6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)  (See #5.)

7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien) (See #6.)

8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery) I never read it, and now I’ve built up an aversion to it for some reason I can’t pinpoint.

9. *Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)  Why have I never heard of this?

10. * A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry) This either.

11.  Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling) I want to read the Harry Potter books in Spanish. Only in Spanish… but it counts. You couldn’t pay me enough to read them in English.

12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)  Doesn’t mean I’m proud of it. But it did cause me to boycott The DaVinci Code, so at least there’s that.

13.  Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling) Again, in Spanish.

14. + A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)  A must-read, I know, and I do get that Irving craving from time to time.

15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden) I’m actually pretty indifferent to it.

16.  Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling) Spanish translation.

17. * Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)  This is getting embarrassing.

18. The Stand (Stephen King) Stephen King can kiss my ass.

19.  Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)  Again…

20. + Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)

21.  The Hobbit (Tolkien)  As a side note, I saw the animated movie when I was little and had recurring nightmares about Golem for some time afterward.

22. + The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger) Damn right. Read it twice.

23. + Little Women (Louisa May Alcott) English and Spanish.

24. + The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold) That book can kiss my ass.

25. + Life of Pi (Yann Martel) A friend gave me her copy when we moved out of the dorms at the end of freshman year. Aw.

26.  The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)  Another one I’ve kind of developed an aversion to. Don’t know why.

27. + Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte) I want to read it again at some point because I think the timing just wasn’t right the first time around, because I really wasn’t that big on it.

28. + The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis) Read it multiple times when I was little, and was given a copy by the school library at the end of the year for being the third-grade librarian.

29. + East of Eden (John Steinbeck) Another someday book.

30. +Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom) Hey, another book that can kiss my ass.

31.  Dune (Frank Herbert) I’ve heard of it but don’t really know anything about it.

32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks) Oh. Screw. That.

33. +Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand) I’ve been in the middle of that book for going on four years now. I began it when I began college, so I figure I’ll finish around December of this year when I graduate. It’s fantastic, just so long.

34. +1984 (Orwell)  High school. I’ll read it again someday.

35.  The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)

36.  The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett) Claudia recommended it, so I must read it.

37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay) I know nothing about it.

38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb) I’ve really never heard anything good about it.

39. +The Red Tent (Anita Diamant) Not exactly a priority, though.

40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho) Someday.

41. *The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)  

42. +The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini) I hear good things.

43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)  Oh, please.

44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)  Oh, please again.

45. + Bible

46. +Anna Karenina (Tolstoy) Very excited for this one.

47. +The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas) This one, too.

48. + Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt) Read part of it for a class on Memoir writing freshman year, but I’m counting it.

49. +The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck) Someday.

50. +She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb) Not a major priority.

51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver) High school pretty much ruined this book for me. I sold it when I was done with it, and if you know how I am about my books then you see how much I hated this one.

52. + A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens) Read it when I was thirteen and it was a pivotal reading experience for me. I wouldn’t be the same without it, I swear.

53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)  Meh.

54. + Great Expectations (Dickens) I [heart] this book.

55. + The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald) Fantastic.

56. * The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)

57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)  Spanish again.

58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough) Read it in high school. Well… most of it.

59. + The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood) Not the highest priority of my must-read Atwood.

60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger) Blech.

61. + Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky) I need some Dostoyevsky this summer.

62. +The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand) Very exciting.

63. + War and Peace (Tolstoy)

64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)

65. *Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)

66. + One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)

67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares) Maybe when I have kids?

68. +Catch-22 (Joseph Heller) I laughed so hard I thought I was going to wet myself.

69. +Les Miserables (Hugo)

70.  The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery) Meh.

71. +Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding) Despite my extreme aversion to chick-lit… and it was pretty great.

72. + Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)

73. + Shogun (James Clavell) Ex-boyfriend got me interested… someday maybe.

74. +The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje) Soon enough.

75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett) Meh.

76. * The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)

77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith) I know, I know.

78. + The World According To Garp (John Irving) SUCH a good book. Irving’s such a badass.

79. * The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)

80.  +Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White) **laugh** I said something about WEB DuBois the other day and my brother said, “Didn’t she write Charlotte’s Web?”

81. * Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)

82. + Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck) Sad.

83. +Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier) Excited about it.

84. * Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)

85.  Emma (Jane Austen) For Women in Literature.

86. Watership Down (Richard Adams) Don’t know anything about it.

87. + Brave New World (Aldous Huxley) Tenth grade.

88. * The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields) Another one whose title sounds interesting

89. Blindness (Jose Saramago) I heard good things but I don’t remember where.

90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer) Huh?

91. *In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)

92. +Lord of the Flies (Golding) Need to reread it, because I definitely didn’t get what all the fuss was about.

93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)

94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd) See… the thing about this is I read The Mermaid Chair and that book bit it big time. I hear this one is great regardless, but I’m a bit put off now.

95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)

96. +The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)

97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch) Maybe.

98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford) Barbara Taylor Bradford? Where’s Jackie Collins, then?

99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)

100. Ulysses (James Joyce) Soon, I hope.

Whew.